My Social Identity

Assessments & Reflections

I find that learning about myself is an endeavor which I must approach with perseverance...Things don't always (read: usually never) sink in the first time around. It's also overwhelming to receive a vast amount of information all at once. Opening the book that Dr. Bob so kindly put together for me was like walking into an all-you-can-eat buffet -- I'm excited for the possibilities, nervous for how I'm going to feel afterwards, and generally clueless about where to dig in. [Aside:  I'm skipping over the relationship between knowledge and being able to apply it; I believe that to be entirely too long of a conversation in which the cliche "easier said than done" will come up several times.]

I'm looking through the results of the seventeen different assessments I took, hoping that I'll be able to find  polish a diamond of personal evolution out of all that igneous rock that is my personality data. The thing is, that takes time. Only after all the hunting, pick-axing, sifting, polishing, and cutting is it ready to unveil -- set in an engagement ring or as part of a gemstone mosaic of my face.

Self-development is difficult; it is time-consuming; it takes effort, and it takes focus. I thing that the BLF program has served as a good jumping-off point. Through experience and assessment it has provided me with a good deal of information about myself, and it is a model that I can look back on for an example for taking that information and transforming it into something actionable. The challenge that I find myself dealing with most often is focus. It is easy for my personal motivations to get pushed to the back of my memory banks, now with the conditionally-appropriate but ultimately-inaccurate label of  "inconsequential", as its former location is occupied by the counter-intuitive-yet-crucial click-throughs needed for navigating ChemCAD.

As I move forward, I must continue to personally develop my ability to refocus on my personal development.  Also, I think it would be valuable to have regular checkups with the assessments. People like progress. And it can serve as kind of a long-reminder to revisit the topic of growth, while I am responsible for looking at it day-to-day. If, on a daily basis, I look at all the things in my character that are...less than ideal, the thought of working on myself will have a more prevalent (and hopefully permanent) seat in my brain.

On the other hand, hunting for diamonds sounds like a lot of work...Why not just buy a diamond, and then go hunting?

Balance

I think give and take is a key aspect of balance. I will say upfront that at this point in my life I am giving a lot and taking relatively little.

People that succeed in having a "good" work/life balance may look at things from a day to day perspective, like blocking out twenty minutes or an hour a day for personal time. The day to day perspective isn't applicable to everyone. For example, take college students (the ones that spend more time at the computer lab an they do their own apartments), or new parents - there isn't really enough consistency

My personal strategy has been to take the down time when I can, because I don't know how long it will be until my next breather. I think there are some aspects of childhood that per-program an expectation of that daily "me" time (nap time, recess, Rugrats at 8:00 every school night before bed). And as a result, I was disappointed when I didn't have some free time  every day. But sometimes, that simply isn't possible.

I have tried to change my frame of reference and look at the bigger picture. It's tougher to get disappointed when I expect some "me" time every week or every month instead of every day. I like to have Friday and Saturday nights to do whatever, and then begin the cycle of late nights in the lab on Sunday.

I've talked about this a fair amount with people who have "been there and done that", and I've received advice to zoom out even more - take the perspective that college is for planting the seeds, and once I get a job that college has prepared me for, I can begin eating the fruits of my labor; I shouldn't expect any "me" time in college.

Admittedly, that was difficult to wrap my head around. There is too much entitlement ingrained in me to be able to fully adopt that point of view - though sometimes it feels like I have.

I wrote all this and I just realized that I do take some time to myself during the week; I spend it at the gym. It's not everyday, and sometimes it gets derailed by other obligations, so that's where it helps to adjust my expectations. I always liked the expression, "Take it one day at a time", but I think my approach is a direct contradiction to that. Nevertheless, I'm holding out for the day when I can, as the Eagles said, take it easy.

Cultural Understanding

Part I:  the retreat

The theme of the retreat, though not explicitly stated, was clearly evidenced by the continued reinforcement of a particular concept. That concept was, however you wish to state it, the importance of cooperation.

With regard to bringing what we learned back to real life, the most significant application in my own opinion comes in achieving objectives. In the "see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil" game (game reads better than exercise to me), each person on the team was vital to the team's overall function, and the team as a whole performed according to how effectively each person contributed their piece.

See, speak, hear was interesting in that each person's responsibility was to one other person; except between rounds, there was no room for a someone to decided they wanted to try and run the themselves. This structure was also beneficical because it didn't allow for time to be wasted on voting on titles and delegating power, which is something new groups often struggle with.

The trust game, on the other hand, was open for those wonderful possibilities. There was structure in that the person with the head was the one who called out directions; otherwise, it had the air of a classic team building excercise, with such questions to be answered as:  Who is going to step up first and organize everyone? Who is going to have a good idea to contribute? Whose idea are we going to go with? Who was going to jump in first and get the gears turning?

As for the balloon game, I undersand it conceptually, but I question it's motivations. The balloon game's message was that being cutthroat is not always the best approach - sometimes success is more readily attainable through working together. If the motivations are for creating positive relationships with a strong moral compass, that's cool. But if you go into the big bad world thinking that this is the norm and people are always looking to help you, that naivety is likely to leave you disappointed. Look at it from a revenue point of view; if you are the only company in an industry, you don't have to split the revenues of that industry with anyone - customers have to shop with you. The existence of another company is someone stealing the money that you deserve. I'm sure it is more fun being a monopolist. 

You could delve further into each game if you wanted. The see, speak, hear game can be seen as a commentary on several things - people applying their strengths and need to put people where they will be most effective,  the importance of experience and the development that comes with it, making the best of a less-than-ideal situation (a person is not well-suited for a certain role) and working through difficulty to help the team succeed. The trust game was a more literal application of individual strengths.

For the big picture, this is my most poignant takeaway:  achievements through teamwork are often easier, faster, done at a higher level, or even simply possible when compared to attempting the same achievements solo. But on the other hand, teams are just people who steal your glory, right?


Part II:  (in progress)

Adaptability

There have been plenty of instances when I've been presented with an opportunity or a scenario that doesn't exactly light my fire as much as I would hope. I like to think that I do a pretty good job of acting in a responsible manner in these situations, although this doesn't say anything about my personal feelings or attitudes. There have definitely been occasions where "begrudgingly" might be a good word to describe the mindset with which I performed my task; I suppose that would constitute reacting in a negative fashion. In these situations, I exhibited adaptability in that I was not jazzed up about my role or participation in an activity, but still worked at a high level in accordance with my personal standards.

For a specific example, I remember being asked to play taps at our town's war cemetery at the conclusion of the Memorial Day parade. I thought that was a pretty neat, powerful opportunity, so I said of course I would do it. We get to the end of the parade, having marched a couple miles in the ninety-degree heat (not a lot of fun), and we were hot, sweaty, and tired. Then the band director comes up to me and says, "The people in charge of the ceremony are telling me that they might not need you, but would like you to stick around just in case." My negative reaction:  I'm pretty hacked off. Though I was nervous, I was looking forward to doing this, and it was somewhat the light at the end of the tunnel (with the tunnel being the tediousness of the parade). They cancel on me at the last minute, and they are still wanting me to commit my time? I want to go home and shower.

Long story short, I got over my initial reaction and stayed for the ceremony. I'm glad I did, because halfway through, someone came up and told me I was back on again. It ended up being a special, moving moment for me, playing taps in a cemetery for an audience of war veterans.

A major benefit of being adaptable is opening yourself up to experience opportunities. I wouldn't have had the opportunity for that experience if I had gone with my first reaction to the situation; I thought about things, sucked it up, and did something that was against my initial motivations following the parade (I.e., a shower). Adaptability allows for opportunities for success in a constantly changing world.

Leadership Vlog

Mentorship

I think the word "mentor" is thrown around pretty casually when talking about a relationship between two young people. Honestly, how vested is a kid about to be in another kid's success? It is rarely that his focus is not set on the minutia of his own life; something as universal as helping people seems to escape most children. What can a mentor, who is himself a child, offer to another child? Guidance?

Childhood is all about making mistakes, and the prefrontal cortex doesn't even fully develop until age 25. Beyond that, an adolescent has very limited power to "make something happen" in another's life - like referring that person to a job interview, or getting them an introduction to someone important.

My senior year of high school, I was in a program called "Senior Mentors" - though I'd hesitate to call what we did "mentoring" - which paired a few seniors with each freshman homeroom. Every two weeks or so, we (the mentors) would talk to the room full of freshmen about some predesignated topic, like drugs & alcohol, extracurricular activities, or preparing for college. Wait just a minute. First off, I know some of these kids had done things I couldn't even imagine doing. Secondly, I'm in band. That's my extracurricular. Nobody wants to sign up for that instant label. Third, I'm not in college yet, I have no idea what it's going to be like and what to do as a freshman to prepare for it.

I took the program seriously. I did what I could and answered questions to the best of my knowledge. I don't think it changed anyone's life though.

As for being mentored, my dad is who I've always called (and continue to call) for advice. And as I transition more into career mode, I expect that mentorship capacity will become even more important. He has three decades of experience in the industry I want to be in, doing what I want to do. I will invariably hesitate before asking him to pull any strings for me though. I the four years I will have spent grinding out this degree to get me something based on my own merit.